Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Evolution as a Mom

Then: Refers to the period of time when I had one or even two kids.
Now: Present-day life with 3 kids.

Important to note: I am making no value judgments on any of these. This is just how it is for me. :)

Then:
Made sure I looked nice, with hair done (perhaps in a ponytail but still done) before leaving the house. If I got spit-up on, I would change.

Now: Couldn't care less what the people at the grocery store think of how I look. I have a window of time to get the shopping done, and it must get done whether or not I've had time to shower/dry my hair/change out of spit-up-stained clothes.

(One morning, I literally put a sweatshirt over the pajamas I slept in and went shopping like that. This would have horrified my former self.)

Then: Made sure my kid(s) looked nice before leaving the house. That meant their hair was done and they were wearing decent, matching clothes.

Now: I'm lucky if their hair has been combed, let alone styled in any way beyond a clip to keep it out of their eyes, and if they are in fact wearing clean underwear (or any underwear at all) under their frequently mismatched clothing.

(To be fair: This isn't so much due to a change in me as to a growing need for independence in my kids. Why must they have their own opinions, anyway?)

Then:
Carefully dressed the baby in coordinated outfits with matching shoes and socks, long before the child had any use for shoes.

Now: Don't even own a pair of shoes that would fit the baby. Don't bother with socks, either. They'll just end up lost on aisle 13 of Target. I'm sure it's warm enough.

Then: Kind of disgusted at the sight of baby food, particularly such fare as Garden Vegetable or Chicken Dinner. Felt slightly guilty about feeding it to my child.

Now: No qualms about licking the spoon of Garden Vegetable clean in order to put it back in the diaper bag, or licking off a glob that dropped on my hand. It's really not that bad.

Then: Had no desire to touch my kids' uneaten food. Yuck. It went in the trash.

Now: The uneaten food is my lunch. So what if the peanut butter sandwich is smashed and a little soggy. At least it's edible and available.

Then: Made sure the high chair tray was scrubbed clean after each meal.

Now: As long as there aren't any choking hazards on it, we're good. A little dried peas and some stale Cheerios never hurt anyone.

Then: If we were out of baby food, we went to the store right then to buy some. What else would we feed her?

Now: Rarely have much baby food in the house. Have to get creative and have even made a lot of my own. There's plenty of available food the baby can eat.

Then: Made sure to time EVERY feeding while nursing in an attempt to make sure she had eaten enough. If she didn't nurse long enough, I would try to force her to eat more, giving up in frustration if she refused.

Now: If he's done, he's done. He's got some chub and is growing fine.


Motherhood is... hard. Just when you think you've been through some hard things as a mom, you go through something harder. It changes you in unexpected ways. It's humbling--that much is for sure.

It'll be interesting to see what my perceptions will be 10 years from now when I have teenage girls.

10 comments:

CHELZERS said...

ditto to all of that. :) It is so hard and ever changing. maybe we can cry on each others shoulders in 10 years, right?? oh i shudder at the thought of the future....lol

A Roper said...

Hahahaha! SO TRUE!!! I was just thinking yesterday that I don't have any shoes for Cambria, and that I don't really care (so unlike me)! :)

LOVE this post!

A Roper said...

Hahahaha! SO TRUE!!! I was just thinking yesterday that I don't have any shoes for Cambria, and that I don't really care (so unlike me)! :)

LOVE this post!

Jessica said...

I LOVE this post! It's Hilarius how our perceptions change and will continue to change. Motherhood is by far the most challenging thing I have very encountered but at the end of the day, all pride aside it is so worth it and there are so many good things to laugh about.

Marin said...

I have always looked like trash and have never really taken the time to get ready, but yes I agree with everything you say especially the baby food. It really isnt that bad!

Lisa said...

Wait, people actually clean their high chair? Oops...

Regina said...

This is so true, I was actually thinking the other day about how James always had to have socks on especially when it was cold. And with Lily she rarely has socks on and in Logan it is rarely warm enough, so she always has cold feet, and I just don't seem to care.

Jordan and Luci said...

That made me happy! I think I am more of a "then" mom now, which is scary. What will happen if we have more kids? Yikes!

sally said...

fun post to read ashley. love it!

Kristi said...

What a fun post to read! I laughed out loud at "the uneaten food is my lunch". I eat my kids leftovers all the time! I fit right in with you in the "Now" category, with 2 girls and a baby boy of our own now as well.
:)