A Lot of Rambling

Well, I need to blog about something. I have been in a rut again and I just want to get something out of me. Who knows what will be the result?

I have some goals for the New Year that I have been working hard at lately. Well, I was working hard until I got sick this week. That has made things more difficult so I haven't done as well lately but I am cutting myself some slack. Another problem is that Joe's new schedule means he has class until late on Monday and Wednesday and with cub scouts for me on Tuesday night, we don't see each other much except late at night, so we keep staying up late so we can actually talk. The combination of these factors has made getting up early very difficult. Anyway, I guess I should say what my goals actually are:

-Read from the scriptures in the morning before the kids wake up.
-Exercise 4x a week
-No free computer time (except checking e-mail) until my "jobs" are done. (Basically I'm holding myself to the same standard that the kids are held to--no media time until chores are done.)
-Be more grateful and record (either here or in my journal) the small blessings in my daily life.

So, the first two require rising early. Not a strength of mine but I feel so much better when I do. The third one helps me be so much more productive. I do not want my children to learn from my example to spend a majority of their time staring at a computer screen.

Sidenote: That actually reminds me of a funny segment the kids and I saw on Sesame Street. I was laughing so hard and I don't think the kids got it at all. Telly (one of my favorites!) traded in his regular pogo stick for an "iPogo" but learned that he didn't enjoy the new technology. He missed doing the work to make it jump himself. It was just a hilarious little skit about the fact that technological advances that attempt to make our lives easier are not always better for us. The only video I could find of it is a song they sang during part of it called "There's An App For That":



Yes, I realize that my main form of entertainment right now is a television program for children. Such is my life.

That leads me to the other theme dominating my thoughts lately: motherhood. What else, right?

My dad forwarded me this article. It's called "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior". I thought it was really interesting. Joe and I had some good discussion from it. One thing I have certainly learned since becoming a parent is that successful, compassionate, responsible, awesome kids come from all different kinds of parenting styles. Great kids even come from terrible parents and great parents produce children that completely disregard what they've been taught and go another way. But, I'm not getting into all that. My point is that I don't believe there is one right way to be a parent. I believe there are principles that we can follow to be best parents we can be (go here for some important ones to me). But, I think there are many different ways of going about it.

I think that different parents have different priorities when it comes to the values they want to teach their children. For some, teaching their children to be self-sufficient and to work hard to contribute to society are paramount. Others focus on teaching their children compassion and to be aware of those less fortunate than themselves. Still others focus on teaching their children social skills to allow them to get along easily with others. I could go on and on. Of course we can teach our children many different values but we all have our priorities (probably because of the way we were raised or because of our life experiences).

I think if you focus too hard on some areas, it may be easy to lose sight of other important values you could be working to instill in your kids. Of course that's fine, too, and I don't think people that do that are bad parents in any way. I just feel that for me, balance is important. I think of the children in the article. Yes, they learned well the lesson that with hard work, anything is possible. Yes, I'm sure they will be successful adults. But, what did they miss out on? As every parent learns, and as I am just starting to learn, there are only so many hours in the day of a child's life. Only so many activities that can fit into those hours. If 3 hours are taken up in the study of an instrument, for instance, those are 3 less hours available for other worthy pursuits.

“Life offers you two precious gifts—one is time, the other freedom of choice, the freedom to buy with your time what you will." (Elder Richard L. Evans from this Conference address)

That is true not only in our personal lives but in our roles as parents. The time we have with our children while they are young is a gift. How will I spend that time?

One thing I am forever grateful for is my understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This gives me knowledge, direction, strength, and also reassurance and peace when I mess up as a mother.

I am also so grateful for my own mother who is the perfect example to me. I got to take a vacation day last week. Joe took care of the kids all day. I went down to my mom's and got to spend the afternoon with her. It was wonderful to just talk and be together. If I am even half the mother she has always been to me, I will consider myself a success. I am so thankful for all of my grandmothers and also for Joe's mother and grandmothers. These women were and are not perfect but they dedicated their lives to mothering. We, their children, have been immensely blessed by their sacrifice.

My mom lent me a book which I finished today and I liked this quote. A woman was asked if she loved her mother who had passed away:

"The easy answer is yes. But it's too easy just to say that when you're talking about your mother. It's so much more than love--it's, it's everything, isn't it?...When someone asks you where you come from, the answer is your mother... When your mother's gone, you've lost your past. It's so much more than love. Even when there's no love, it's so much more than anything else in your life. I did love my mother, but I didn't know how much until she was gone." (Anna Quindlen, One True Thing).

Whew. I guess I needed to "get my words out," as my mom would say.

I am going to end this interminable blog post with some things I was grateful for today:
-Washing a tiny little baby back in the bath.
-Reading There Is a Bird on Your Head! with the girls and laughing together at the end of it.