One Month Old

I can't believe Nate is already a month old. The time really has gone fast. It will probably be Christmas before I know it, too. He is also changing so much and getting chubbier every day. It is fun to watch but it makes me sad, too.

I'll be honest--this has been a hard month. He has a lot of extended fussy periods that have made it hard and have really worn me down physically and emotionally. At first we were convinced it was just reflux and I still think a lot of it is that. He definitely has all the symptoms. In fact, on his 1 month birthday I took him in to the doctor to get some medicine for him. We haven't noticed much of a difference since then, but it has only been a few days. We'll see what happens. He has been napping in his car seat and sleeping in his crib with the mattress elevated which seems to help a little bit.

Still, I think sometimes that he may just be colicky. His hardest times are at night before going to bed. He just cries and cries and there's not much we can do to calm him down when he gets like that. Sometimes his binky works, most of the time not. Sometimes going outside helps, a lot of the time not. He likes to be held away from our bodies and bobbed up and down but I can only do that for so long before my arms get tired. It's making me realize how spoiled I was with the girls, at least as far as crying goes. I don't remember many inconsolable crying bouts.

Don't get me wrong. They had their own challenges. Elizabeth's reflux was mostly manifest in her spitting up at night through her nose and mouth. We would jump out of bed and find her bluish and barely able to breathe until we suctioned her. That was not fun and we are still paranoid to this day because of it.

Natalie's reflux consisted of lots of projectile vomiting. It was always right when I had just finished nursing her. So, of course a few minutes later she would be starving again and I'd wouldn't have much to give causing frustration for both of us. Also, not very fun.

I hope the medicine will help ease some of the pain for Nate. It's so hard to watch him scream and not be able to do anything about it. It also wears on Joe and I. It makes it so my evenings are completely taken up, hence the reason for this post taking me almost a week to finish.

I don't want to dwell on the negative, though, and I want to record some things that I love about my little Nathaniel right now:

I love...
-the way you grunt and stretch when I'm changing your diaper.
-when you sleep with your mouth wide open (like I do).
-your little double chin.
-your smiles; they remind me of Daddy's smiles. I can't wait until you smile at me.
-the look on your face when you hear a noise you're not sure about like the shower or the dishwasher.
-how you love your baths.
-the precious few times you snuggle on me when you're awake.

These black and white ones are more that my sister-in-law took. Thanks again Lisa!

Loving bath-time (I love that chubby arm)
I love his sideburns and receding hairline :)

I love how tiny he looks lying on our bed

Here are some Elizabeth took that she was proud of: