My Kindergartener

My oldest daughter started school this week. I am still trying to assess my feelings about all of this. I've had a pretty hard time with it all. I know it's weird, but I wasn't looking forward to this. Well, I was for Elizabeth's sake. I knew she would love it. But I was dreading it. I don't know what my problem is. I guess I have a hard time letting go. Just thinking about her starting had me in tears a few times. The night before she started she told me she was excited and nervous. I said I was too. She asked me why I was nervous and I told her I wasn't sure what I was going to do without my big helper around all the time. Then she gave me a wonderfully tight hug. That got the tears flowing. I love that girl.

Anyway, with all of that as a backdrop, you'll probably be surprised to hear that I didn't cry at all when I actually dropped her off. I surprised myself. I think it was mostly because I saw how excited she was to jump right in. It wasn't sad at all. She had a great first day and has said the same thing every day since then.

My week, on the other hand, has been difficult. I think I was not only mourning the loss of having my daughter around all the time, but also the loss of my freedom that comes with entering this school-age period of motherhood. Now I'm at the mercy of the school schedule. And the afternoon kindergarten schedule, no less, which I'm learning isn't so fun. She goes from 10:40 to 2. It probably won't be so bad when Nate is down to one nap but right now he naps in the morning right until we leave and then I have to keep him up until after we pick her up. Natalie and Nate eat lunch at the normal time while she is gone but Elizabeth eats when she gets home from school. I feel like I'm feeding kids all day long. I haven't established any kind of quiet time yet since I've wanted to let them play together after school but I think I will have to start that again soon, if only for my own sanity. I just haven't had my regular time to get anything done so life has been chaotic. You think you'll have more time to get things done when they go to school but it has just been opposite so far. OK, I'm done whining now. I'm sure we'll figure things out soon and get a system that works better. And then something will happen and it will change again :). Such is life, I guess....

Although I'm sad that she doesn't get the time with us that she used to, I'm happy about the things she is learning and the new friendships she is developing. She seems like she has matured a lot already.

I did enjoy a (relatively) calm trip to Walmart the other day, too, with 2 kids instead of 3. It does make a difference and seems so much more manageable.

Here's another picture, with Natalie this time:
(pretending her shades were reading glasses)

Here's a cute video I took not long ago of the big girl demonstrating her elephant noise...