I have been feeling very blah lately and I'm not really sure why. I thought maybe if I got some of my thoughts out in words I could get a handle on it. The kids are in bed right now and I honestly don't know what to do with myself. Obviously there are things I could/should be doing like dishes, general clean up, etc., but I don't feel like doing those things right now. I think maybe I need a hobby. Still, I can't help but feel that most of the hobbies I would choose would be "good" but not "better" or "best" (see Elder Oaks' talk). But maybe that's OK for my "me-time". Maybe I just need something that will help me unwind during that time. Still, I feel that I'm kind of on auto-pilot too often, lately; like I'm just getting by in my job as a mother.
Maybe those of you from Wymount will remember Cynthia C. saying in a Relief Society lesson one Sunday that we should treat motherhood as our career. We should give it our all and try to excel. That really stuck with me. Raising these children isn't just what is taking up my time right now, it is my life's work and I should treat it as such. I suppose that what I need to do is just get on my knees and ask my Heavenly Father what it is that he wants me to do or do better. The problem with that is that then I'll actually have to do it :).
Do any of you ever feel like this? Thanks for letting me ramble a little bit. Hopefully this made sense.
4 comments:
Wow. I feel like this SO often. It's amazing...it's like you ripped a page out of my journal. Today was particularly one of those days. I could do chores, but I just don't feel like it. I also have some hobbies, but am not sure if they qualify as better or best. That talk very much struck home with me. I DO think that it is okay to have SOME good in your life. I feel that the point of the talk was that JUST having good in your life isn't enough. It needs to be mainly better and best. I would say raising kids is best. So, as your me-time, I think its okay to have a little good. I have more thoughts, but dinner calls and Sam just found my purse. E-mail me if you want to chat!
I think I've briefly talked to you about this topic and it's soooo real! When I talk to Chris about it he makes good suggestions sometimes but often he makes it seem so much easier than it is. It's like there's lots of things you want to be doing but how do you pick the perfect thing because we just don't have enough time in the day (or during naps) to do more than a few items. I guess we could do more but that's where it gets overwhelming and I feel like I'm not doing one thing good because I'm trying too hard to do good at several. So your post made total sense now I just don't know if my comment does:)
This definitely makes sense to me. I think we all go through stages like that, and we all have to follow the Spirit and figure out what we can do with our time that will be both worthwhile and enjoyable.
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